DVD: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

This is a review I have been really trying to avoid writing. I have nothing good to say at all, but if I don't tell you, who will?

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is a film with an unreasonably long title. Perhaps you've noticed that already. Anyway, moving on.

The movie stars Jason Statham, an actor with the worst agent in the world, unless of course any of his horrible movies make any money. Now, don't get me wrong, I actually do like him, and his career must be doing well considering his is making a Transporter 3 and Crank 2. Seriously though, are these movies better than Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch? No.

I could go on and on about him, but unfortunately I can't in this blog because so many people were screwed by this film.

So, who else was in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale? Buckle your seat belts:

*Leelee Sobieski- Apparently, trying to come off of that career-high role in Wicker Man.
*John Rhys-Davies- I enjoy him. He was in the Lord of the Rings films, and one of my favorite cheesy sci-fi shows, Sliders. You also may have seen him in every made for TV movie ever made. He also does lots of voice over work for toons and games.
*Ron Perlman- He is other guy that does lots and lots of voice overs. He is mostly known as Hellboy though.
*Matthew Lillard- I don't expect much from him, because he must have the same agent as Statham. He went from Hackers and Scream to Scooby Doo and Without a Paddle.
*Burt Reynolds- I can't say anything directly bad about him. He was born in 1936, been acting since 1959, and still looks like a million bucks.

and the final person worth pointing out is.....

*Ray Liotta- He was in Goodfellas and also Wild Hogs. You be the judge.

Now, you may be saying to your computer screen, "Hey Mr. "I'll Try That!" Blogger, I think that cast sounds great! Why are you bashing them?"
Well, this movie was terrible, but not necessarily at the fault of the actors.

The first thing I will point out, is the horrific musical score. Imagine watching an action movie to a kid's movie soundtrack, and you'll get it. The dialogue was unreal. Not WOW!, more like OW! There is a part where two characters fall from a rope 100 feet into a shallow river, and their lines were: "WwwwwwHhhhOooAaa!" Ugh. The only thing that tops that line, is all of Ray Liotta's. The directing and editing are epic... epic failures.

~~I just want to note that I usually would edit the links so they would open in a new window, however the amount of links in this entry is more than usual, so you're all going to have to either right click to open in a new window, or navigate back and forth. Sorry!~~

(This is the top left picture in "Guess What I Tried!"2)

Pros:
The best thing about this DVD is..... *just picture me spitting on the screen here*

Cons:
It's my vote for the worst movie ever made.
Bad Dialogue.
Bad musical score.
Bad Editing.
BAD BAD BAD!!!

Verdict:
If I ever heard somewhere down the line that they made this movie on a dare, or everyone involved was caught at some big Hollywood coke party and this screenplay was written by the judge that ruled on the cases; letting them go if they agreed to make it... I would totally believe it. The only reason I would tell someone to watch this movie is if they honestly don't believe how bad it is. Just having to think about the movie while writing this has made me feel a little sick.